To Lose a Friend…

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It has now been over a year since losing one of my closest, if not my closest, friend. On the 29/06/2023, I watched my friend die after being stabbed to death. I have not been the same since.

Seeing somebody you truly love experience such great pain and agony in a helpless state is traumatising. It hurts more when you begin to realise that these are the last moments and that you will never see them again. They were once a part of your daily routine, and in the click of a finger, the bond comes to an end. Although I still see him as a brother, it feels like he is just somewhere that I can’t possibly reach.

I was mute. I didn’t know what to do and felt it was my fault as I wasn’t able to save him. For months, I was almost mute and locked in my room. I began using worldly things as a coping mechanism, which is my biggest regret as it created an addiction. The self-disappointment mixed with grief is unpleasant.

Not speaking to his mother or family much after he passed away wasn’t easy either. I just want to know that they’re okay sometimes but can’t because of how things played out. That hurts. My friend's loss made many bonds cut short. It just shows the type of person he was and how much of a big part he played in our lives.

I’m grateful for my family. If it wasn’t for them, I don’t know where I’d be right now. They helped me through this dark time and stuck by me. As well as God. I’ve now finally understood that when losing a loved one, they’re still with you in spirit. You just can’t see them. I think that’s real. I’ve finally accepted it.

If you’ve been through something like this, know that there is help out there. Here are some ways you can begin to cope and heal:

  • Talk to someone:

  • Connect with others:

    • Joining peer support groups can help you meet people who understand. Check out local services via Mind’s directory or explore online groups on the Cruse website.

  • Get help for the trauma:

    • Victim Support provides emotional and practical support for those affected by violent crime, including access to trauma specialists.

  • Reach out in moments of crisis:

  • Lean on faith or community:

    • Spiritual leaders, religious communities, or cultural groups can provide comfort and understanding during difficult times.

Most importantly, don’t suffer in silence. You don’t have to go through it on your own.


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